


Frequent Flier

by IsisKitsune



Series: Twilight is for Sookers [41]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Morbius: The Living Vampire
Genre: Gen, Light Angst, Medical Procedures, Regeneration, Serious Injuries, Wade Wilson Needs A Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2020-03-06 14:05:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18852580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsisKitsune/pseuds/IsisKitsune
Summary: Michael just wanted to go home, and crash for the night...Goddamnit Wade





	Frequent Flier

Michael was grumbling as he got in, from a long night, practically throwing his belt off the moment he got into his room and stretched, wincing at the popping joints in his arms. “Gotta figure out something... Summer heat is horrible on wings.”

“I can mention it to Sir.”

“I'll figure it out. At least I can't seem to get fungal infections... Shoulda had ringworm by now with all the sweating.”

Michael shrug as he shuffled into the shower. “I'll figure it out later.”

At least the Penthouse was cool, and the water felt heavenly as he scrubbed off the smell of the ER. “There appears to be a visitor... at the window, sir. Would you like me to... deter them?”

Michael shut off the water, “Did, did webhead's entrance panel get damaged?”

“No, sir, this is a visitor, not a resident.”

Michael growled as he pulled on a robe and checked Parker's old room. He sighed as the red covered hand waving at him from the other side of the window. “Wade?”

“You know this individual, sir?”

“Kinda... Allow communication?”

“Of course, sir.”

“Wade, what the fuck do you want?”

“Hey, doc, any chance you can help a guy out? Kinda got in an argument with a lawnmower.”

“Jarvis, lock down this room, only access point the windows unless they're residents.”

“Of course, sir, mind your feet.”

Michael stepped into the room fully in time for the doors to slam shut and the locks to engage before the window opened, letting Wade tumble in. Michael gulped at the sound of organs slapping against the floor. “You're cleaning that up.”

“Yeah, sure, um, think I lost some things...”

“Fingers,” Michael offered as he noticed several of Wade's were missing on his right hand. “I'll... get the kit.”

“Yer the best, doc!”

“Still not a doctor, Wade, I've got 3 years left on my residency.”

“Then, I've got some practice for you?”

“How did you even find me?” Michael grumbled as he opened the storage under the bed to grab the kit.

“What? You always live in the same place, just gotta look for the right type of building,” Wade thumbed toward the gargoyle on the other side of the windows.

“Okay, so, what am I dealing with?”

Wade shifted his other hand, Michael actually winced, “Yeah, sorry about this. It's quicker repairing than replacing and yeah.”

“Lay down,” he sighed at most of his gear, “I guess you won't need stitches.”

“Nope! Long as it's touching it'll heal.”

“Jarvis, let Peter know I'm with a patient in case he comes looking.”

“Will do, sir.”

“Thanks.”

“Who's that?” Michael had to rub his eyes, he swore he just saw Wady's mask bat eyelashes at him.

“Someone that lives here, don't both him.”

“Okay, okay, usually you're the lone bat type.”

“I have no clue what you're talking about but, unleash the horde.” Michael winced at the sound and sight of Wade's abdomen spilling onto his floor. “So, infection isn't a problem?”

“Nope, feel free to poke around.”

“Great, first disembowelment outside of cadavers and I get to chat the whole time.”

“I could just-” Michael caught his hand, “No?”

“No.”

“Okay, have at it, doc.”

Michael sighed as he pulled on gloves anyway and glared at the mess on his floor, “Okay, hold this for me?”

Wade smiled as he happily held open the wound while Michael worked on getting everything back where it was supposed to be. “So, do this often?”

“I'm not usually chatty when dealing with critical patients. Too busy working.”

“Well, that's poor bedside manners.”

“Usually if it's this bad they're unconscious or screaming and needing sedated.”

“Ow ow ow, yer pinching something, doc.”

“I shouldn't be,” Michael glared when he shifted a few key organs, “I wasn't pinching you.” Wade whined when he tugged something, pulling a blade tip from his abdominal cavity. “Better?” Wade gave a sigh and thumbs up as Michael started making sure everything was back in the proper place, “You're missing a liver, was that what I heard hit the floor?”

“Probably missing something else too.”

“You still have your pancreas?”

“I did, damn thing keeps growing back.”

“Hold on, let me check the floor. This better not go on my record, so many procedures broken searching to retrieve an organ off the fucking floor.”

Wade was whistling, as if he wasn't propped up on the floor with half his intestines strung out of his stomach, Michael just shook his head as he retrieved two organs from the corner they'd flopped into and got back to work. “So, what made you wanna be a doctor?”

“My past.” Michael might have pinched the connection a little harder than necessary but Wade shut up for a minute until he made sure the organ properly reattached. “Gotta admit, it's fascinating seeing the healing process like this.”

“It's annoying and itchy... You got a fork I can use?”

“I just got that back in, and you wanna perforate it with a fork over a fucking itch? Don't make me tie your intestines in a knot...”

“Oh, you offering Chipotle? Sounds good, I'm starving.”

Michael finally cracked, laughing as he shoved his hair out of the way, “You need to start a stand up routine.”

“Well, if you insist.”

Michael grabbed him, pinning him to the floor, “I didn't mean right now you asshole! I'm not fixing you twice.”

“Hey, was just following orders.”

“Is it getting tender?”

“Yeah, might wanna hurry up doc, healing is kicking in on my skin.”

“I still have to check your bowel, make sure that everything is still attached and not actually knotted.”

“That's a thing?”

“Well, all it takes to 'knot' it is a section getting looped around itself wrong. It can be a major issue down the line.”

“Huh, maybe that was why I couldn't shit for a month last time... The more you know.”

Michael stilled, “A, like an actual full month?”

“Well, I'm not counting the squirts.”

Michael sighed as he started pulling the rest of the bowel out, “This, this is-”

“I got all kindsa cancer, doc, don't worry about any of that, just put all the pieces back together.”

“But, you have healing.”

Wade shrugged, “And it's constantly healing the cancer, it can't spread but it can't heal the existing either.”

Michael stilled, thinking, “Even on removal?”

“Nope, doesn't work. It's everywhere, and as many times as I've blown my own brains out, it would be gone by now.” Michael finally got nudged, “Um, doc, your time is gonna run out. Don't feel like dealing with a colostomy bag.”

“Right, sorry, I, I can reopen the wound if needed. Other than the pinching, are you in any pain?”

“Always, but don't worry about it, it's nbd.”

Michael frowned as he went back to checking and running the intestines back into it's proper place, “Yeah, I understand that. Pain meds don't work on me either.”

“Sucks, don't it?”

“Yeah, it sucks. But, I can always put you under if it gets too bad.”

“Oooooh I completely forgot, you can, can't you?”

“If, if you're always in pain though, would you want to go back to that if I put you under like that?”

Wade sighed and laid back, “No, I wouldn't.”

“I thought so, okay, intestines are back where they belong, I'll get the clamps to hold it closed until you're set.”

“Thanks doc.”

“Not a doctor yet,” Michael finally grumbled as he pulled the muscle and skin closed, frowning at the bloody mess he had been kneeling in. “Fuck, you owe me a new robe... and you're cleaning up your mess.”

“Where's the mop and bucket?”

“I'll get it, you stay put until that finishes healing.” Michael walked over to the door, “Jarvis, allow access to the bathroom.”

“Of course, sir.”

“So, you buddy with Stark? Or did you make Jarvis in this verse?”

Michael just blinked, “Wade, I just got off my normal shift and then residency, I'm exhausted, what are you rambling about?”

“How'd you get a Jarvis?”

“Oh, I asked for him to have access to the Penthouse when I moved out of the Tower.”

“Wait, you lived in The Avenger's Tower?!”

“Yeah,” Michael started filling the mop bucket from the shower, “I lived there for awhile while Tony and Bruce helped me.”

“Wait, so, how did that happen?”

“My mutation, Spidey hoped they could help me with it, and they did.”

“Wow, cool... Who woulda thought it'd been that easy. Then again, damn licensing bullshit.”

“Wade, too tired, come get this damn bucket if you're healed up.”

“On it, boss!”

Michael mumbled as he shifted to lean against the door frame, sleepily chattering to keep track of the man currently whistling and dancing around as he cleaned up the mess. “So, did you have the fingers with you?”

“Nah, those got lost, who the fuck knows where.”

“Okay, so all good?”

“Yep! Thanks doc.”

“I'm still working on it, but I'm not a doctor yet.”

“Eh, tomato, potato.”

“That's not... whatever, all good?”

“Yep, all clean,” Michael had to smirk, well at least visually it was. “So, what do I owe ya doc?”

“Just, don't pull that stunt again, whatever the hell it was.”

“Weeell, ya seeeee-”

“How about, give me a heads up next time before you show up?”

“That, that I can do!”

“Alright, get the hell outa my Penthouse, I'm goin' to bed.”

“You got it, boss,” Michael rushed the window as Deadpool did a back flip off it.

“Fucker's gonna be a frequent flier...”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> **** Next installment of series is probably going to be awhile because this fucking plot bunny (after weeks of me going "Don't drag this into the spider verse) ... you'll never guess what happened...****


End file.
